it is during a rainstorm that things can become so fresh. everything is wiped clean, but usually not without expense: the tree you loved so dearly from your childhood, your new rose garden, or even carpet damage to your house. yet these things tend to make us rebuild, reshape, and renew ourselves in ways that we might not have had the storm not helped us along. refreshing isnt it?

sometimes, i wonder if people could touch you, and automatically sense what you are feeling or learn something that happened in your life personally, would the world be a much different place? try doing that without the ability to people who have no understanding of what you are trying to share, and things become much more difficult. everyone is right about me, until they learn my heart. then i think things might need to be rethought some...
sure, im spoiled. sure, im selfish. sure, im bitchy. sure, im a loner. but who isnt in one way or about something they admire? of course, if you were to comprehend what my past was, then maybe you could walk in my shoes. until then, ill just keep trying to touch you - hoping that the power to share my life will come to me....

f**k me.
not the literal kind. just a sort of insane way of saying that i wish i didnt exist for about half an hour or so. enough time to regain my sanity.
there are no guarantees that it would work....

audblog audio post

just a little taste of poetry for the courageous. :) a mere thought to some and a deep concept for others.... may this at least make you smile!

audblog audio post

and introduction for me into the world of AudBlogging.... haha laugh with me now...

Sometimes I honestly wonder what the definition of "friendship" is.

I can't think of anything else to say on this at the moment...

I have yet to feel as old as when I look at my now geriatric dog. It is quite sad, really. She now limps about on different feet due to the arthritis in her back and paws.... Her back is so bent... She cannot remember where she is or what to do in certain circumstances...
When she dies, so does an era... an era of my life that I will never get back nor be able to share more intimately than my dog has experienced.
The older you get, the harder things get... and the sweeter, too.

I have never thought of crashing as a good thing until now. One would consider crashing into anything a particularly unpleasant experience... and yet i have found at least one case in which it is not. Though I must admit that Tennessee lambs do not really captivate my soul nor dixie chickens make me rethink my theories on life.... and yet, sometimes simplicity is the best way of getting to know someone on a deeper level. I just wish that I could actually be in the simple place... dixie land... maybe I am not the one who should go anywhere. Or maybe I have already been and know where I must be now.

I went to Europe to find out what I was supposed to major in at school... and I have returned knowing everything except that which I had hoped to find. Now I know where I must be, with whom I must associate myself with, and - consequently - what I must do. At least for tomorrow. One day at a time you know...

I must say though that I had forgotten how refreshing direction is....

I am so bored. Ok, not exactly bored persay, but nicely tired and relaxed with nothing to do.... sigh, not that I am complaining or anything. Sometimes I think that writers block is caused by lack of interesting things going on in ones life. So, either your life is good and your writing dwindles, or you are in a sucky spot and your writing is INcredible. The world may never know...

Gosh darn life is confusing.
I guess without the confusing bits, it would be boring though. :\ hmmm Would a boring life be a normal one? And, if it were normal, wouldn't that be considered weird? So, technically, there can be no normal?
Huh.

Ahhhhhhhh
Refreshing isn't it?

How does life get to this place? It seems I havent been here for a long time. I didnt neglect this, I just had to grow up. I dont really know if anyone reads these things, or if it is for personal gain only, but I have changed. Life for me has taken a different turn, and now I'm me. I've never been this person before. It's nice to step outside my world and into who I wanted to be. Now who I wanted to be has become the real me! :) And life is now life - not some hell im trapped in.
Now, I'm joyful. Take note: joy and happiness are two different things.
Now, I want. Take note: want and need are two different things.
Now, I love. Take note: love is of the will, not the heart.

I'll be a "legal" adult soon... but I've already taken that step in my mind. I took that step when i was three; I just now filled those shoes I always stepped out of.

Thank you for your patience...