Do you ever have those days when you get up and think to yourself, "today's going to be a good day;" then, by about 9 o'clock in the evening you are like "shit"?
I do.
Today was one of them.
I sometimes get the overwhelming feeling that I can't change the world. That for some reason God has placed me here to view a bunch of messed up people or mishaps in the world but has left me powerless to neither help nor fix anything or anyone. All I can do is to keep smiling, and after awhile - well - you know what it is like to smile for a long time. Your face starts to hurt. Really bad.
Why can't I be capable of change, of producing change, of inciting people to care?
I am powerless and I have front row view to all that goes on around me.

Do you ever feel like life just isn't going to get any better? That no matter how you look at it, everything is just not going to look up or turn a bend for "the better"? That maybe, just maybe, this is as good as it gets, and it's not that great?
Yea. I feel ya.
I am looking to the end of something yet it feels like it is a million and a half miles off the coast of nowhere. And yet, here I am, still plugging away at it like it's going to absolutely kill me if I simply stop. The funny thing is - I know it won't kill me if I stop. There's just this force.
Do I sound crazy?
Of course I do.
Now, back to it.